Those cases, the crash from a sugar high, and fatigue from trying to walk through the thick under growth are really slowing you down. All you can think about is putting one foot in front of the other. And how nice some water would be.

Step, crunch.

Step, crunch.

Step, crunch.

You know, you went to college instead of joining the army to avoid crap like this.

Step, crunch.

Step, crunch.

You want to scream. As you grunt and pick your foot up again you see this little ball of fluff:

Cute, ain't it? It's like a little Kiwi bird drawn by Disney. As you stare at it, it lets out a shrill "Eeep!" From the under growth you hear a chorus of eeeps respond. They chatter and start appearing, surround you with their adorable big eyes and tiny chirps. They move closer until they have you surround and you can't step without potentially squashing one. One pecks at your shoes with it's beak, that you're now realizing is hooked and you recall something about hook billed birds; they eat meat. And the crazy guy's comment about Australia takes on more meaning.

Realizing the danger you're in from the tiny critters, you start shuffling your feet to get past them without any squishing. They peck at your shoes and pants as you go, chirping the whole time. There's a chirp by your ear, and then another on the other side. It's in stereo. No... they're in the trees.

You bring your hand up to cover your face but smack yourself hard with the ammo case. It sends you backwards into the chirping birds who scatter to avoid being injured. A moment later they're back, and they're pecking at you hands, arms, legs, face...

You'll never know if the forest heard your screams.


Killed by adorable birdies.